The Milk is Still Bad And Other Cautionary Tales From A Divorce Lawyer

How Many Frogs Must You Kiss?

A recent British study that states the average woman will kiss 22 men, have four long-term relationships and get her heart broken five times before meeting "the One."

The study also revealed that she will endure six bad dates, have six one-night stands and be cheated on four times.

The average man will kiss 23 girls, have 10 one-night stands and suffer six heartbreaks before settling down.

If you know what to look for you might save some time!

 

 

Relationship Tip - Never Go Back

This tip relates to the title of my new book on Amazon.com called "The Milk Is Still Bad and Other Cautionary Tales".  The essence of this concept is that people that break up do it for a reason. In all my years as a divorce lawyer, I have never observed any couple reconcile successfully once the relationship failed. My suggestion, never go back.

Be safe out there!

Relationship Tip - Avoid People that Have More Problems Than You Do!

My dad always told me "never get involved with someone that has more problems than you, because their problems will become your problems.  Here are some examples of what I'm talking about, if you find out that the person you are dating has any of these characteristics, be careful and consider not becoming involved in a dating relationship with them. Here are twenty things to look out for:

1. Bankruptcy being considered or just filed

2. Just finished bankruptcy

3. Takes psychiatric medications

4. Drinks every day or  gets drunk a couple times a week

5. Is on disability

6. Does not work

7. Has not worked for a long time

8. Has not finished high school or obtained a GED

9. Has an arrest record

10. Is on probation

11. Has a prior domestic violence injunction filed against them

12. Is out on bail

13. Is on parole

14. Has a drug problem

15. Uses street drugs such as marijuana, cocaine, or other street drugs

16. Regularly takes pain medication such as oxycodone

17. Engages in doctor shopping to get pain medications

19. Has a suspended drivers license

20. Has a back child support obligation they are not paying

Don't get me wrong, I know that there are lots of good people that have one or more of the above issues going on in their life, and lots of people are able to put these types of issues behind themselves and start a new life.  I am however amazed at how many relationships I have seen in my divorce practice where people get involved in a serious relationship and the other person has one of the above problems in their life, and they are totally surprised that the relationship failed, or even more surprised that these problems became their problems too.  Don't rush into a relationship simply becauese the person is attractive to you, ask some intelligent questions, and make some intelligent decisions. Consider whether you want to take on someone else's problems.

Relationship Tip of The Day - Stop Looking

You will  most likely find that special someone when you are not looking and not trying.  You need to be able to stay home on a Friday or Saturday night alone and watch a movie or read a book, and be OK with that. If you feel compelled to go out with your single friends on "date night" and try to hook up, you are not ready to meet that special someone.  People can tell if you are looking, just like a mean dog can tell if you are afraid, he can smell fear.  The same is true for people, they can smell desparation, and its not attractive.

be safe and be smart - charlie

Relationship Tip - Opposites Don't Attract, or Do They?

You know the old saying "opposites attract". That may be true about magnetic poles or electrical charges, but my guess is that really does not hold true over the long term when it comes to relationships.  Many people get into relationships initially because of a physical attraction, only to learn later that they are quite the opposite in how they think, what they enjoy, and how they live their life. This reality may not come early on in the relationship because it takes a while for people to open up and share, and it takes a while to recognize that that you have fundamental differences.  With a little practice you can learn to identify certain character traits, mannerisms, and habits that come with a certain personality.  I call them relationship types, and there are about perhaps twenty relationship types that you can learn to identify, such as the sports personality, the scrapbooking or hobby type,  the wild and outgoing type, the rebelious type, the laid back type, and so on.  In order to make a relationship work in the long term, I have found that matched types tend to stay together longer.

 

Relationship Tip - How To Spot A Bad Relationship Before It Happens

As a divorce lawyer, there is one thing that people tend to over look, if all your friends are telling you that a particular person is not a good fit for you, and you are the only person that thinks the relationship is a good idea, there is a good chance you are wrong and all your friends are right.  Typically if you are in a romantic relationship your view of the situation may be clouded by your emotions. Others such as friends and family may have a more neutral unbiased view of things.  Take the advice of friends and family on relationships.  Good advice for friends and family, dont be afraid to speak up and tell your loved one that they are making a mistake. Too many times, people are afraid to say anything for fear of offending, and they allow their friend or family member to make a big mistake that can last for years and be devastating.